Creative and Perverted Fantasy Football Names That Will Shock Your League

Alright, alright, settle down now, y’all. Let’s talk about them… uh… whatchamacallit… perverted fantasy football names, yeah, that’s it. You know, them names you giggle at, the ones that make your grandma blush, if she even understood ’em. I seen some doozies in my time, let me tell ya.

First off, what in tarnation is fantasy football anyway? Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. But these young’uns, they love it. And they love them dirty names, seems like. Why they gotta be so dirty, I don’t know. Guess it’s part of the fun, like putting extra pepper in your chili, even though it burns your insides.

Now, I ain’t gonna repeat none of the real nasty ones, Lord knows. My ears ain’t made for that kinda talk. But I can give you a taste, you know, the ones that are kinda funny-dirty, not the ones that make you wanna wash your mouth out with soap.

• You got your names about drinking, like “The Beer Guzzlers”. That one ain’t so bad. Reminds me of Uncle Jed, bless his heart, he could guzzle beer like nobody’s business.
• Then you got the ones that are… suggestive, you know? Like “Show Me Your TDs”. I don’t even know what a TD is in this football game, but it sounds kinda… you know… flirty. Like a rooster struttin’ his stuff in the hen house.
• And then there are the ones that just make no sense to me, like they threw a bunch of words together and hoped it sounded dirty. “The Purple Helmet Screamers” or somethin’ like that. What in the world does that even mean? Kids these days, I tell ya.

I reckon coming up with these names is like churnin’ butter. You gotta keep at it, twistin’ and turnin’ them words till you get somethin’ that sticks. Some folks are good at it, some ain’t. Me? I’d probably just call my team “The Fighting Hens” or somethin’ sensible. But then again, I ain’t playin’ no fantasy football. I got enough real-life chickens to worry about.

They say these names gotta be creative, gotta be funny, gotta be… audacious, is that the word? Means bold, I think. Like a fox sneakin’ into the henhouse. You gotta be bold to use some of these names, that’s for sure. I bet some folks get a real kick out of it, seein’ their team name up there on the screen, makin’ everyone chuckle or squirm.

And there’s all sorts of ways to get these names, too. You can think ’em up yourself, which is hard work, like diggin’ a ditch in the summer. Or you can use one of them “generators,” they call ’em. Sounds fancy, but it’s just a computer spitting out words, far as I can tell. Like a sausage machine, grindin’ up meat and poopin’ out sausages.

But I guess it’s all in good fun, ain’t it? Just a game, like checkers or horseshoes, only with more… well, with more perverted names, I suppose. As long as nobody gets their feathers ruffled too bad, it’s alright. Just remember, there’s a line between funny-dirty and just plain nasty. Don’t cross that line, or you might end up in the doghouse, and ain’t nobody wants that.

So there you have it, my two cents on them… perverted fantasy football names. I still don’t get it, but if it makes folks happy, I reckon it can’t be all bad. Just try to keep it clean, y’hear? Or at least, keep it clean enough for your grandma. Even if she doesn’t understand what a “tight end” is.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed them chickens. They ain’t got no fancy names, just plain ol’ hens, but they lay good eggs, and that’s good enough for me.

Tags: [Fantasy Football, Team Names, Funny, Dirty, Perverted, Creative, Audacious, Football, Sports, Humor]